While searching for my spirit guides, my dreams were invaded by something else

I’ve referenced Nicky Sutton in some of my posts before. I watch her videos on her site Spiritual Awakening. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCr5xw3WzOAULh8Qi9-8BINQ

One of her videos was “Meeting your Spirit Guides and Guardian Angels.” As I am very interested in meeting my spirit guides, I paid close attention to the video. She stated that you should set the intention before you go to sleep that you will meet your spirit guide in your dreams, and you will remember your dream when you wake up. I decided to do that and before I feel asleep, I enthusiastically set the intention to meet my guides and angels and remember my dreams when I wake up. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Even though I remembered my dreams in the morning, they were not of my spirit guides and instead of being enlightening; they were very disturbing.  

I couldn’t go to sleep easily. Partly because I was so overwhelmed by what had happened with Jake http://metaphysicsme.com/blog/dog-jake-reaching-beyond-veil/ and couldn’t get the experience out of my mind. I kept looking at the clock not even realizing that I dozed off a couple of times. I saw the clock at 2 something, at 3 something and again at 5 something. I was so discombobulated by my dreams that when it started to get sunny outside at around 5:00 AM, I felt very out of sorts. Here is a breakdown of the dreams that I remembered.

The first dream was me being in my bedroom as a child with my sister, Denise in our bed. I don’t remember ever sharing a bed with Denise, so this was weird, and I can’t promise that it was Denise (because I never saw her) but, in my dream, I felt it was. My eyes were squeezed shut and I was trying to scream. I heard Denise gurgling, making noises like she had something stuck in her throat. My arms were thrashing around and at one point my hand found its way to her open mouth as she was gurgling fiercely. I was fighting to scream. So much that even in my dream my jaw hurt from straining. I actually remember my body tightening up in an effort to scream but all that I could get out was a hard “urggghhhh” sound. I also remember in my dream that I was telling myself to keep my eyes closed. I was squeezing them shut very hard all the while thrashing around and trying to save Denise from “drowning” with her making that horrible gurgling noise. Even though my eyes were closed I remember pondering “what can I knock over to make noise that would make the “dogs” start barking and alert “my parents?” (We never had dogs growing up. Maybe one here and there but not multiple dogs that I’ve had as an adult). But I was extrapolating the thought of what would alert my parents of potential danger? I think that this was a modern-day solution that I thought of and not an actual memory. Either way, it was horrible. I kind of woke up and rolled over and eventually dosed back off even though I don’t remember falling asleep again.

The next dream I was in a spaceship. I described it to my husband, BJ as being like a sci-fi dream. I remember being in a spaceship, not as you would see on TV but more like a big sterile room that I knew was a spaceship because when I looked out of the portal I could see more ships connected to it. This image may have come from a book that I started reading, “The Allagash Abductions.” I was running down a long corridor from something I didn’t see but was afraid of. I couldn’t escape or get outside because of these other shiny ships that were all connected to the one I was on. I was frantic in my effort to escape but to no avail.

I woke up again and fell back asleep again. This last dream was familiar and horrific. I feel like I had it before because it kind of seemed familiar in my dream as I regularly remember my dreams. I was running from 5 men and a woman (?) and they were trying to attack and rape me. It was very obvious their intention and all I could think of was I have to get away or they are going to rape me. Not sure where the woman came into play, but it reminded me of that scary movie “The Strangers” Wikipedia explains: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Strangers_(2008_film)

“The Strangers is a 2008 American horror film written and directed by Bryan Bertino. Kristen (Liv Tyler) and James (Scott Speedman) are expecting a relaxing weekend at a family vacation home, but their stay turns out to be anything but peaceful as three masked intruders leave Kristen and James struggling for survival. Writer-director Bertino was inspired by real-life events: the Manson family Tate murders, a multiple homicide; the Keddie Cabin Murders, that occurred in California in 1981; and a series of break-ins that occurred in his own neighborhood as a child . . . contemporary film scholars have interpreted it as a criticism of the perceived safety of pastoral life, as well as an exploration of stranger-on-stranger violence.”

In my dream, I was in a desolated area kind of like a run-down Buckroe Beach in Hampton, Virginia before they did a rejuvenation of the area. There was a deserted hotel and warehouses and I was running in tall, dead grass. I was cornered a few times but managed to escape only to be cornered again on railroad tracks. I found a broken train car that I was trying to climb onto to see where I was. I remember thinking if I can get to the top of one of the cars, I might be able to see where I was and find an escape route. When I managed to get onto of this car, I saw an interstate that I was hoping to get to in order to flag someone down but never did see any cars. There was an explosion (I think caused by me somehow) when I jumped off the top of the train car and when I finally thought I was getting away. As I’m trying to make my way to the interstate, my would-be attackers they somehow conjured a pack of wolves/coyotes to block my path. This dream and the men in it seemed familiar not like I knew them in life but that maybe I “saw” them in another bad dream. I still “feel” the dream and it was and still is, horrible and scary.

I finally got up at around 10 and didn’t really give the dreams much thought. I woke up with a good attitude and a smile on my face thinking about the experience that I had with Jake and finally felt “good” after 6 days of hell. It was only after I told BJ about my experience with Jake (he was having a really hard day. It was the first time either one of us had been back to work since Jakey passed.) I was excited to tell him the good news and explained to him what I had experienced. It was only after that I kind of flippantly told him about my wacky really bad dreams after that. His suggestion of what the dreams meant blew me away.

He thought that maybe the first dream that I had was a repressed memory about being abducted. This really freaks me out because in the dream I was trying to save Denise who was gurgling but I refused to open my eyes and I couldn’t scream no matter how hard I tried. I physically tensed up in my dream and my memory of the dream while trying to scream. This is also creepy because of the second dream being on a “spaceship”. I don’t remember ever sharing a bed with Denise as a child and it’s weird that I would be trying to get “my parents” attention as if they could come and save us. I’m not sure what the third dream was about. Maybe since the idea of being raped was so prominent, it was the act of being abducted that I equated to being raped. BJ thought that maybe since I had this experience with Jake, I opened myself up and then when I asked to see my spirit guides/guardian angels my mind took that as a way to open repressed memories. This really freaks me out. I never made a connection to being abducted in these dreams, but I’ll never forget the sound of “Denise” gurgling and the inability to scream no matter how hard I tried.

Interestingly, www.dreammoods.com states that seeing an explosion in your dreams means that: “To see explosions in your dream symbolize your repressed anger. The rage that you have been holding in has come to the surface in a forceful and violent manner. Your subconscious is trying to get your attention.” As I don’t remember actually seeing the cause of the explosion only the sound and me looking back at it, another interpretation caught my attention.

 “To hear the sound of a loud explosion, but you did not see it indicates that something is about to be exposed or come into consciousness.”

The site goes on to explain that “To see a pack of wolves in your dream symbolizes a family unit. It may highlight a sense of belonging and how family looks out for each other. Alternatively, a wolf pack represents a gang or an intimidating group.” And “To see a coyote in your dream denotes deception and weakness.” As I’m not sure which animal pack I saw I’m not sure how to interpret which one of these scenarios are accurate.

I’m going to possibly explore this further in my mind but honestly, the thought terrifies me which just adds credence to the fact that it could be a repressed memory of being abducted as a child. Yes, I believe in aliens and beings of extraterrestrial origin but am I ready to face that possibility? Ummm, not quite. I actually did have an experience which I’ll explain in a later blog, so stand by!

I was feeling so alone when my dog Jake passed away in June.

               

This has been a really hard couple of weeks. I’ve been missing my sweet dog Jake and it’s been hitting me really hard. In October I was a Speaker at the Metaphysical Chapel of Life      , the chapel I attend. Since it was right before Halloween I spoke about the difference between ghosts and spirits. I have a video that I may upload after I get it edited. I included a couple of examples and pictures of the occurrences that I experienced in my house with a couple of them with Jake.  As I had my dog Jake since he was 5 1/2 weeks old; he was a constant furry bundle at my feet. 

I have been beside myself with grief. Crying almost non-stop since it happened. Sunday, 6/24/18 was really hard for me. I miss him so much and only have his harness to hold onto. I made a bundle out of the big towel that I used to dry him off and keep him warm after we got out of the pool and sleep with that and the comforter that we took to the vet with us. Sunday night I went to bed, holding my bundle, clutching my comforter and crying over him. I couldn’t reign in the pain and kept crying so hard that I couldn’t breathe through my nose. I told myself that I had to calm down and tried to steady my breathing. I slowed my breathing down so far that I actually thought to myself, “wow how am I still alive after barely breathing?” It reminded me of when people die in the movies their breath gets very shallow and slow and then they just stop. I was at my lowest of lows and the grief was stifling. As I lay there and try to calm down I start talking to Jake. I tell him I love him, I miss him, and I wish he were there with me. I was confused as to why I hadn’t “seen” him yet as our connection was so close that I thought surely, he would come to me but so far, he hadn’t. Even though I made a notation about it on Friday, 6/23/18, thinking that I saw him twice but thought it was the other dogs at both times even though it wasn’t. As I lay there barely breathing, I went into a trance-like state. I was talking to Jake and I felt like he was talking back to me. As I was saying, I love you, I love you, I love you it echoed in my head. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. I then found myself saying “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay.” At two different times (one of them being 12:27 am when I said “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay) I felt pressure on my back like someone laid down behind me and gently pushed on my back. A short time after when I was saying “I miss you, I miss you, I miss you” I felt it again. I believe this was Jake. I felt an overwhelming happy, peaceful and joyful feeling wash over me. I felt like he was there with me, comforting me and consoling me. I “felt” him talk to me, communicate to me that he was there with me and it was going to be okay. I can’t express how happy I was. Ecstatic even. I felt like, maybe I could get through this life without him for the first time since he passed. I wanted to savor this moment. It was transcendent. I was so happy and thankful that he came to me and I felt his presence. All of this was very good. My soul felt lighter and for the first time in almost a week, I was finally “okay” with what happened, knowing that he was, in fact, okay. 

 Of course, I still miss him horribly. I got a memorial tattoo of his likeness on my thigh and am going to get another small tattoo on my wrist showing Mother and Son because that’s how I felt about him. He was more than “just a dog”. He was part of me. I worked from home and was with him almost every single day of his life. When we first got him, the owner of the company I worked for had passed away and the business closed. For months, I was with him 24 hours a day. We had another dog Duke which was the reason we got Jakey to begin with. We wanted a companion to Duke but since he was dog-aggressive we couldn’t bring in an adult dog; it had to be a puppy. Even though Duke terrorized him those first couple of months he grew to love Jake and, I believe, see him as son also. 

Wow! I can’t believe it’s August already. It’s been so long since I’ve added a post only because life, as it is for most of us, can get crazy busy sometimes. Between work, familial obligations and just generally trying to get things done, time really flies. (They should make an expression out of that!) Our business Professional Sewer and Drain       continues to be a roller coaster of very busy times and very slow times. Ahh, the joys of business ownership. My grandbabies keep getting bigger by the minute and my other babies, my doggies always demand a lot of attention. On June 19, 2018 I lost my sweet boy Jake. He was as sweet as he was beautiful. It’s always a painful experience when our sweet fur babies leave this world. We got him when he was 5 1-2 weeks old and had him under he succumbed to cancer at 12 1-2 years old. 

 He had such pretty eyes people that it was a trick of the light but nope it was really his eye color early on. He was such a beautiful and loving dog and he will surely be missed. I actually got a memorial tattoo of him on my thigh. But you can’t take away from the beauty of these pictures. 

Hi everyone!